The 5 Love Languages

By on February 14, 2013

The Five Love Languages Profile:

How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate  by Gary Chapman


Words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, physical touch—which of these is your primary love language?  You may already have an idea, or you may have no clue.  “The Five Love Languages Profile” will help you know for sure.


The profile includes thirty pairs of statements.  Read each pair and choose the one that better reflects your preferences.  Then, in the right column, circle the letter that corresponds with the statement you choose.  In some cases, you may wish you could circle both, but you should choose only one to ensure the most accurate profile results.


When reading the profile statements, you’ll see words like “special person” and “loved ones.”  When we think of love and love languages our immediate thought may be of a romantic relationship.  However, we express love and affection in a variety of contexts and relationships.  As you work through the profile, think of a significant person with whom you are close:  a boyfriend or girlfriend, a good friend, a parent, a colleague, etc.


Take the profile when you are relaxed and not pressed for time.  You should also take the profile alone, this is not a group project and other’s opinions are not valid here, only your preferences are.  After you’ve made your selections, go back and count the number of times you chose each letter.  List the results in the appropriate spaces at the end of the profile.  Then read “Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score,” which follows the profile.


1.   I like to receive notes of affirmation.                                                                                     A

I like to be hugged.                                                                                                                  E


2.   I like to spend one-to-one time with a person who is special to me.                                B

I feel loved when someone gives practical help to me.                                                     D


3.   I like it when people give me gifts.                                                                                        C

I like leisurely visits with friends and loved ones.                                                               B


4.   I feel loved when people do things to help me.                                                                   D

I feel loved when people touch me.                                                                                      E


5.   I feel loved when someone I love or admire puts their arm around me.                         E

I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I love or admire.                                    C


6.   I like to go places with friends and loved ones.                                                                   B

I like to high-five or hold hands with people who are special to me.                                E


7.   Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me.                                                  C

I feel loved when people affirm me.                                                                                      A


8.   I like to sit close to people I enjoy being around.                                                                E

I like for people to tell me I am attractive/handsome.                                                        A


9.   I like to spend time with friends and loved ones.                                                                B

I like to receive little gifts from friends and loved ones.                                                     C


10. Words of acceptance are important to me.                                                                          A

I know someone loves me when he or she helps me.                                                       D


11. I like being together and doing things with friends and loved ones.                                B

I like it when kind words are spoken to me.                                                                          A


12. What someone does affects me more than what he or she says.                                    D

Hugs make me feel connected and valued.                                                                       E


13. I value praise and try to avoid criticism.                                                                               A

Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift.                                                C


14. I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together.                    B

I feel closer to friends and loved ones when they touch me often.                                   E


15. I like for people to compliment my accomplishments.                                                      A

I know people love me when they do things for me that they don’t enjoy doing.            D


16. I like to be touched when friends and loved ones walk by.                                                E

I like it when people listen to me and show genuine interest in what I’m saying.            B


17. I feel loved when friends and loved ones help me with jobs or projects.                         D

I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends and loved ones.                                                C


18. I like for people to compliment my appearance.                                                                A

I feel loved when people take time to understand my feelings.                                        B


19. I feel secure when a special person is touching me.                                                          E

Acts of service make me feel loved.                                                                                    D


20. I appreciate the many things that special people do for me.                                            D

I like receiving gifts that special people make for me.                                                       C


21. I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives me undivided attention.                B

I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone does some act of service for me.           D


22. I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with a gift.                                          C

I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with meaningful words.                    A



23. I know a person is thinking of me when he or she gives me a gift.                                   C

      I feel loved when a person helps with my chores.                                                                 D


24. I appreciate it when someone listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt me.                       B

I appreciate it when someone remembers special days with a gift.                                 C


25. I like knowing loved ones are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks.              D

I enjoy extended trips with someone who is special to me.                                               B


26. I enjoy kissing or being kissed by people with whom I am close.                                     E

Receiving a gift given for no special reason excites me.                                                  C


27. I like to be told that I am appreciated.                                                                                   A

I like for a person to look at me when we are talking.                                                         B


28. Gifts from a friend or loved one are always special to me.                                                C

I feel good when a friend or loved one touches me.                                                           E


29. I feel loved when a person enthusiastically does some task I have requested.            D

I feel loved when I am told how much I am appreciated.                                                   A


30. I need to be touched every day.                                                                                            E

I need words of affirmation daily.                                                                                           A



TOTALS:  A: ______  B: ______  C: ______  D: ______  E: ______


A. Words of Affirmation       B. Quality Time         C. Receiving Gifts

D. Acts of Service     E. Physical Touch


Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score

Which love language received the highest score?  This is your primary love language.  If point totals for two love languages are equal, you are “bilingual” and have two primary love languages.  And, if you have a secondary love language, or one that is close in score to your primary love language, this means that both expressions of love are important to you.  The highest possible score for any love language is twelve.


Although you may have scored certain ones of the love languages more highly than others, try not to disregard those other languages as unimportant.  Your friends and loved ones may express love in those ways, and it will pay you to understand this about them.  In the same way, it will benefit your friends and loved ones to know your love language and express their affections for you in ways that you interpret as love.  Every time you or they speak one another’s’ language, you score emotional points with one another.  Of course, no one is keeping a score sheet.  The result of speaking a person’s love language is more a feeling of “this person understands me and cares for me.”  Over time, this feeling multiplies into a stronger sense of connectedness.

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